Embracing Change: A Journey to Find Community and Rediscover Myself

I've always been someone who grappled with trust, anxiety, and self-worth. Growing up, I had friends, but a true, lifelong confidante always seemed out of reach. I felt like the odd one out, never quite fitting in, always on the fringes. Ultimately afraid to let anyone in, afraid that if they saw the real me, maybe they would like me even less. In college I finally had a fresh start, but I did what many young women do, instead of building lifelong friendships, I looked to boyfriends,  And then came motherhood, a phase I believed would change the game – after all, I had "joined the mom club." Little did I know, it wasn't that simple.

Reflecting on my past, I realized my mom navigated a similar journey. She, too, lacked a best friend and found solace in her role as a mother. I unwittingly leaned on her for friendship, blurring the lines of her intended role. Now, as a mom myself, I found echoes of her choices in my own behavior – making excuses, avoiding events, and shutting down when life presented challenges. It wasn't the path I wanted to continue down, nor the person I aspired to be.

The turning point came when we relocated to Kansas. Determined to break free from this cycle, I decided it was time for change – not just for me but for my family. I craved a community beyond my husband and God, someone to share my struggles and successes with, other women who understood the journey of motherhood.

In realizing my need for community, I also recognized the importance of teaching my daughters the same lesson. Life is about connections, friendships, and communal support. It's not selfish to seek personal growth or to refill our tanks – in fact, it's an essential part of the journey.

I wanted to break the cycle for my girls. It wasn't too late to change my own future, and it was definitely not too late to make a change for my girls. I began asking myself what characteristics I wanted them to have, and how could I as their mom, lead them by example.

So, armed with a newfound determination, I embarked on the journey of self-discovery not only for my sake but also for the legacy I wanted to leave for my daughters. I asked myself tough questions about the traits and values I wished to instill in them, and I committed to leading by example.

Through intentional actions, I demonstrated the importance of embracing change, seeking community, and valuing personal growth. As I connected with other moms, shared my vulnerabilities, and celebrated my victories, I showed my girls the strength that comes from building a supportive network.

In this transformative process, I learned that it's never too late to rewrite our stories or to set a positive example for the ones we love. As I strive to become the woman I want my daughters to look up to, I am not just breaking free from past patterns, but I am also shaping a future filled with resilience, strength, and the beauty of genuine connections. Here's to rewriting our narratives and inspiring the next generation to do the same.